You DON'T Have Irons in the Fire

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When it is time for people to decide whether or not to retain me as their Transition Coach, I get bedtime stories. The biggest lie that people tell me and themselves is “I’ve got irons in the fire.” Here is some reality for all of the executive dreamers out there who believe fantasies instead of dealing with hard, cold reality.

1). “I’ve got irons in the fire.” No, you don’t. Until you’ve actually started work and been there a few weeks, all you have are fantasies. I’ve only seen 2% of these supposed “irons” work out over the years, and fewer of these “irons” since last summer when the Depression of 2009/2009 started. You don’t have “irons in the fire.” You’re hoping that something comes through and you’re counting on it. “Hope” is a very tenuous thing to hang your hopes on, and an even more tenuous thing to try to pay your bills with. Get rid of hope and get your ass to work actually finding something.

And, if you have a chance to engage a proven Executive Transition Coach, don’t be a fool and wait until your “irons” pan out. They won’t, and, even if they do, you still need Executive Coaching to make you the best exec you can be.

2). “I’ve got a pretty good network.” Bull hockey. You do not have a good network unless you have at least 350 people who will call you back within 48 hours and help you. Let me tell you when you know that you have a good network. If you can make a day’s worth of calls, and get at least one real, viable interview out of it….you’ve got an Okish network. If not, you don’t have squat. You’ve got some golfing buddies that you think are a network, and fantasies and laziness running through your head again.

3). I’ve got incredibly unusual and desired skills in this market. Probably not. Most executives look pretty much alike. You might fantasize, again, about how incredibly valuable and unusual you are. You aren’t. But this gives executives loads of comfort….to think that they’re so valuable and so unusual that they won’t have any problem finding work.
Executives tell themselves this because the reality — that their skills are a dime a dozen — is just too painful to realize. Here is the reality. I’ve had days where I’ve interviewed three or four people with virtually interchangeable résumés. Only the names were substantially different. This is the norm rather than the exception.

4). You think you’re the exception. You aren’t. Everyone who cheats on their spouse thinks they won’t get caught. Most do. Everyone who smokes thinks they’ll dodge lung or heart disease. They don’t.

We have a deep seated need as human primates to believe that we’re an exception to the rule. We’re not only “exceptional,” but we think that the odds don’t apply to us. Most of us think that we’ll dodge the Grim Reaper, the Fates and that 50 Ton Mack Truck bearing down on our careers. You won’t. You’re not an exception….unless you do something exceptional! If you do what everyone is doing, you’re likely going to get what everyone else is getting.

To be really blunt here. Executives who listen to me and do exactly what I tell them whether they like it or not wind up getting employed, on the average, very, very fast….with many months cut off of a statistically typical job search. Those who think that they’re the exception sit out for months until a job mediocre enough for them pops up.

People have a need to tell themselves these lies because believing these lies keeps them from having to do any real work. It also, unfortunately, keeps them from getting a job.
You can feed your ego or you can get employed and feed your family. You cannot do both simultaneously. Realistically, as long as you’re operating in your pride and arrogance, and believing fantasies and dreams, you aren’t going to get employed.

The fact is that you need help. Lots of it. And you need to operate in this little thing I like to call “reality.” I’ve seen hundreds of executives play the head games with themselves and sit out for months and months and months until they get their heads out of their sphincters and get the help they need.

Best of luck on your job search,
J.