Stop Whining and Get to Work!

While most of my clients are great, there are some that are whiney as all get out. They are not likely to find executive level employment in a hurry….if ever.

Executives can be the whiniest and least proactive people on the face of the earth. They expect everything to be done for them as soon as they ask it to be done…even if it isn’t the job of the person to whom they’re speaking. So, executives out there who are looking for a job, here is some hard-core common sense and reality for you.

1). Your priority is not anyone else’s priority anymore. You are unemployed. You don’t have a “staff” you can order around. Networking contacts certainly aren’t your staff, nor is a transition coach, nor is your wife, your husband, your kids, or employers who might be looking to hire you. Things don’t happen “snap.” They happen when they’re going to happen, so learn a new word: “patience.”

2). You can’t order people anymore. You have to ask nicely and wait for a response. Sometimes neither you nor the people trying to help you will get one. Get over it.

3). You are no longer the most important person in the world. This especially applies to you CEOs out there. Get used to it. Learn another new word: “humility.”

4). Be nice to everyone you meet and everyone who is helping you. If you aren’t, we probably won’t bend over backwards to help you.

5). Be nice to everyone whether you think they’re your “equal” or not. Get over your snobbishness and superiority complex and treat everyone like the human being they are. I know that, especially for large mega-corporation executives, this is a new and interesting concept…that people are human beings and deserve to be treated nicely. Get used to the idea. Karma is a bitch, isn’t it?

6). Realize that you were probably laid off for a good reason, and it doesn’t all have to do with the economy. Some of the reason you were chosen for layoff has to do with your behavior, attitudes, performance, or way of looking at life. Ask someone honest who knows you what you’re doing that is obnoxious and seek to change it. For example, I’m an ass and I know it. In my job, which is kicking executives in the butt to get out and do something pro-active to find themselves a job, being an ass or worse is a real advantage. But I wouldn’t try to work for Mother Theresa Ministries, either. Find out who you are and change it or use it.

7). Remember, if you’re in Denver, that this is a very, very small town…and some of us know almost everyone in it. Don’t go up against someone who is “old Denver.” You’ll lose. This is a strange town. I’ve been in Denver for over 50 years. Be nice to those of us who have been around this block for a while or you won’t get employed in Denver, period. This is an “old boy’s and old girl’s town.” Those of us who have been around for a while at least know OF one another and usually will help one another. If you’d like to get employed again in Denver, hook into this network and be nice to everyone in it, or start looking at out of town jobs. And, executives, this matters more than what you’ve done for anyone’s bottom line.

8). Shut up about where you used to live and stop expecting Denver people to behave like people where you used to live. This is Denver. We have our own way of doing things. Better learn it if you want to be employed. And you’d better listen to those of us who have been here for a while. We know Denver and we know how to get things done.

9). Stop believing you know how to interview. You don’t. You don’t have a “good network,” and you’re probably not a good driver or good lover, either. Get humble and get interviewing and networking help immediately if you want to get employed again. Humility is, again, the best word for you to learn. Learn it now or pay the price.

This is very harsh. I should have been harsher. Stop whining about your unemployment, or the slowness of people getting back to you, or anything else you’re being a crybaby about and get your ass to work to find a job. Don’t expect someone else to do it for you, even if you have a transition coach. It is your job and your responsibility. If some idiot career firm has told you that they’ll do it for you, or some idiot headhunter has said that you don’t have to or shouldn’t pay for help, they’re lying to you…ignore them. Even if you’ve paid someone to help you (an excellent idea if you want to be employed anytime soon), they aren’t going to do it for you.

Get out there, stop whining and get to work. You’ll be employed a lot faster. No one wants to listen to a crybaby and, certainly, no one wants to hire one. Oh, and…..act in integrity during your job search and after.

Good job luck,

J.

Where Have We Been???

Dear Readers:

I've had some folks ask me where we've been, as it has been a couple of months since we posted on this site. Sorry 'bout that.

I have spent all of my writing time writing, editing and preparing some new books for publication over this summer. The first is In Transition: Rapidly Finding Your Next Executive Job (Even in Difficult Times), which was shipped from the publishers on Thursday, June 25th! Our next book is The Six Figure Resume Guide which will be shipped in about two weeks. By August, we'll have a book for non-executive white collar personnel called Getting Employed (Even in Difficult Times). This book gives effective strategies for non-executive personnel to find employment, including over 400 killer interview questions and how to answer them. By September, our book 1001 Killer Interview Questions and Their Answers (working title....we haven't decided on a final yet) will be out. Then, finally (at least for a little while) we're putting out a career management book the working title for which is Highly Cynical Career Management Techniques.

Some of these have DVDs to go along with them. In Transition has two associated DVDs currently in editing. The first DVD is a multiple DVD set with over 6 hours of training on finding executive employment. This will be about a 4 DVD set. We also have a 2 DVD set on answering the 4 "biggie" killer questions, with footage of actual clients answering these questions. I'll put up on my management blog sites further informaiton as it becomes available. Our wonderul internet publicist, Keith Eckhardt, is tirelessly working to get the DVDs finished and put up venues to allow people to buy these books and sets. If you'd like more information on these, please feel free to go to info@heckersdevgroup.com.

So...to make a long story endless....and to quote the Governator....we'll be baaack....very soon.

I hope you're having a great summer!

J

We're Doing Something Right!

The unemployment figures Friday are, indeed, frightening. When the number of people who are unemployed and underemployed are added together, an astounding number, 15%, of Americans are unemployed. This is hitting the Executive Sector especially hard.

However, I want to give you a ray of hope. Our clients, even those who are very difficult to employ, are getting employed very rapidly. Our average for "C" Level clients is less than 7 months. The national average for "C" Level client is at 24 months and climbing. Our average for VP Level Candidates is less than 6 months. And our average for Director Level executives is slightly more than 4 months.

One of our "C" Level clients is 70 years old, and worked in non-profit...and is employed. He entered our program in November, and the date of his employment was in February. Another CFO client is trying to decide between which of his opportunities he should take. And we have similar success stories for VPs and Directors.

What we're doing right is hooking people into our extensive network of alumni and current clients to get them employed in this economy. Everyone who is being hired at the executive level is being hired through networking at a very high level. Our network is second to none, since Nicole and I are lifetime residents of Denver and the Front Range. We have even helped numerous out of town clients get jobs in the Denver and Front Range areas.

While I don't like to use this blog space for advertising what we do, we're doing many things right and our people are getting employed. We limit the number of people we take and we are not cheap, We cost between two weeks' and six weeks' salary for executives. Considering, however, how many months we cut off of the job search, can you really afford not to talk to us?

We don't take everyone who comes to us. We do not work with "linear" in-the-box, concrete thinkers, so if you're one of the hide-bound dinosaurs of Corporate America, please don't bother. But we'll be happy to speak with you and see if we can help in any way for those holistic, organic, out-of-the-box thinkers that America needs now. Our number for a free evaluation is 303.480.5484, and we welcome your call and look forward to coffee with you.

If you're tired of daytime TV, we'd love to help.

Please note, we work only with Director Level, VP Level and "C" Level (CXO Level) Clients. We are a fee-paid service, and require a portion of our fee before beginning our program. We do not work with people "pro bono," nor "on contingency," and we are not recruiters. For more information on us, go to www.heckersdevgroup.com or www.heckersdevelopmentgroup.com for the HTML site.

J.

Top Mistakes of American Business

American business is in the trouble it is because of some basic philosophical errors. These errors permeate American companies and are wholeheartedly believed by top executives. Unfortunately, they have led to the spectacles we are currently observing on CNN every night. Here are some of the top philosophical errors.

1). Being totally “bottom line” oriented. American businesses look to make a profit, regardless. Regardless of what? Regardless of anything else, including ethics, morality, quality, customer service or the view of the public. While profit is important, so are many other values.

2). “Quarterly thinking.” Too many companies are focused on quarterly results. This keeps American companies from carrying out any long-term strategic plans which might cause a quarter or two of lowered earnings. This is very short-sighted, and few other nations have our peculiar view of things.

3). A belief that executives are special people. American media has lionized the executive. When once young people aspired to be a minister, a reporter, a doctor, or whatever, they now aspire to be a CEO. Having been a CEO I can tell you that CEOs are nobody special. It really isn’t that difficult of a job when you get down to it. It does require special talent and some brains. But there are many more difficult jobs in the world that should be paid much higher than a CEO. Like being a middle school teacher (horrors!).

4). Crass materialism. Our nation has made the Almighty Dollar into its main god. The results of this absurd idolatry are everywhere, and often end in “perp walks.” The worship of money and stuff by Americans has really gotten out of hand.

5). Gross disparity of pay. “Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it.” The gross and growing disparity of pay between executives and the company average worker’s salary is very dangerous, and will, sooner or later, result either in draconian legislation or revolution or both. If executives don’t start to police themselves, very bad things are going to happen very soon. President Obama’s election is a beginning of a sea change in American business. Those businesses who “don’t get it” are going to be out of business pretty rapidly. Better learn now.

6). Arrogance. The arrogance of the Big Three Executives flying for a hearing in Washington on getting bail-out money each on their own private jet, and indicating that their absurdly high salaries were “about right” is an example of the extreme arrogance in America’s executive suites. This really, really makes people very angry. Frankly, I wouldn’t buy an American car if you paid me to buy one. These guys completely disgust me, and I won’t give them my business.

7). Lousy customer service. Just about every American company has customer DISservice, not customer service. Rather than making things easier for their customers, American companies are making things more difficult for their customers. Long phone wait times, endless computer loops, draconian return policies, the powerlessness of the lower-level functionaries to do anything and the absurd difficulty in reaching a supervisor are all symptoms of a system out of control. And don’t even get me started on the worst of the worst…the airlines. Many American companies, frankly, deserve to go out of business and, in a true free market economy, they would have. We need a true free market economy so that companies will be forced to be responsive to customers rather than forcing customers, otherwise known as “taxpayers,” to bail them out…the very customers to whom they are incredibly rude. This is adding insult to injury, and I don’t like it one little bit.

8). Shoddy product. In addition to lousy attitudes, American companies are producing shoddy products. It seems that every American product I buy falls apart. I’d love to buy American…if I could count on the product. As it is, I’ve got to look after myself, not some union worker…which brings me to…

9). Trade Unions. Unions are dinosaurs that should roll over and finish dying. The philosophy of both protectionism and overpayment of workers has had its time. Unions are one very big reason why America is in the mess it is in. We overpaid and protected shoddy workers while other countries were kicking our butts on quality and price. The right of employers to fire someone who is not producing should be absolute and not interfered with, either by the ($#$#_%) government or “collective bargaining.” The Unions had their day and their place. That is over. Now they simply protect incompetence and add billions of dollars of useless cost to American products.

10). Turf. Perhaps one of the largest causes of failures in American business is the concept of “turf.” Each executive is permitted to carve out an empire for him or herself, rather than being forced to work as a team, as in Asia. This has led to incredible redundancy and inefficiency in American businesses, as the very large egos of top executives are stroked by their buddies in the boardroom. And this is another example of turf. Boards are supposed to be independent representatives of the true owners of the company, the stockholders. Instead they are, all too often, rubber stamps for management. While this has changed somewhat with SarbOx, it hasn’t changed much. The closeness of boards to “C” Level executives is almost the definition of “conflict of interest.”

These are just a few of the mistakes made by American business. There are many more that we’ll visit at another time.

New Ways of Thinking As Executives

The last post we looked at the stupidity of “Executive Think” and how it is highly destructive to American corporations. This post will examine some new ways of thinking that executives must adopt (if they care to survive).

1). The CEO is the head of a team, not a god or hero. Americans love to put CEOs on pedestals and, recently, behind bars. There is a great old saying, “Never believe your own PR.” Too many executives have forgotten this and are acting as if they are invincible. The Justice Department and dead hand of Adam Smith are showing them differently.

It takes a team to make a company work, and the whole team does not live in the executive suite! This is something that American executives have mostly forgotten, but had better remember in a hurry. I’m completely disgusted by the spectacle of skyrocketing CEO pay while workers are being stiffed. This is immoral. I’m also completely disgusted by AIG’s executives who, after receiving our taxpayer money as a bailout, went on a retreat at an exclusive spa. These people should be fired, indicted, tried and, if found guilty, jailed.

We as executives must remember that we are the leaders of a team, not Oriental Potentates. We shouldn’t have to remind people of that, but, obviously, we do. At least you only had to kiss the feet of an Oriental Potentate. Many CEOs want you to kiss their ass!

2). Layoffs are failures, and should be treated as such. An executive team which has to lay people off should never receive bonuses or reward pay of any kind. Layoffs signify a failure and a lack of integrity on the part of the executive team and the company. The executive team who does that may deserve to be part of the layoff. They certainly do not deserve rewards. It is part of the scandal of American business that executives believe they even deserve rewards when they have failed their employees. In Japan layoffs (which rarely occur) can lead to the suicide of the executive who has to order them, because the Japanese are better people than we are who understand that they’ve let their employees, their families and society as a whole down when they deprive people of jobs. Frankly, I wish that American executives who order layoffs would think about suicide. It would be more appropriate.

3). Executives do not deserve ANY better “perks” than a factory line worker. Executives often think that they are the most important people in a company. They are not. Every person on the team is vital to the company’s mission — the custodian no less than the CEO. While different people should be paid according to their skill level, there is no real reason why executives should receive better health insurance or other benefits that rank and file employees do not receive.

4). The life, health or happiness of an executive is no more intrinsically important than that of any other person in the company…and sometimes a great deal less. American business must change its way of thinking! Just because people have MBAs and dress in nice suits and sit in air conditioned offices, they are not intrinsically more valuable than any other person in the company. The attitudes in American business that they ARE more valuable is causing great anger among the rank and file. There are all the historical signs of a pending revolution, whether a quiet one through laws or a bloody one where executives are taken from their offices (let us hope it is the former, although the latter has occurred many times in history). People are intrinsically important, regardless of their title, salary, or the clothing they wear. We must begin to recognize the intrinsic worth of each individual.

5). Pay must be equalized. The enormous gap between what an average worker is paid and an executive is paid is just plain immoral, unethical, and bad business. This rarely exists in other countries. The fact that it exists here is a great scandal. Executives who wish to survive in the coming world will begin giving up their ridiculously high paychecks and assuring that every person in the company is paid with fairness and justice. There is no logical or business reason for executives to receive 800 times more than the average worker at a company, with additional perks and bonuses. Five or six times, yes. But 800? This is simply abuse of power by those who have it.

6). Executives must practice “walking management.” Every executive should be required to do one of the company’s dirtier jobs for at least a few days a year. I do not know if they still do so, but, in the early days, Grease Monkey made every single executive start by greasing cars, and then work his or her way through all of the company jobs. They then sent their executives back a few days a year to grease cars. Grease Monkey is a very successful company. I think part of the reason is that ethic. Everyone knows that every executive has “been there,” and might be there again for a while. Make executives (including yourself) do some dirty work alongside your employees. I always choose, for myself, the dirtiest job I’m capable of doing within the companies I’ve run over the years, and do it for several days a year.

7). Show compassion. The executive who wants to be successful will be compassionate towards customers, employees and vendors. My wife and I, if we’re not busy and one of our beloved associates is, are just fine with picking their kids up from school, taking them home and feeding them a snack. Treat employees and everyone else with great compassion, and it will pay off.

8). Destroy hierarchy and unnecessary policies. I’m sick to death of “company policies.” When something goes wrong, the reaction of most executives is to make a policy about it. STOP THAT! Deal with the individual problem, and move on.

And why do companies need hierarchy any more? I’ll tell you why. It is a “turf thing.” People like to strut around with fancy titles, big offices and inflated salaries. Fire these people and hire some folks who actually want to get something done for your company and themselves. People don’t need fancy titles, big offices, special perks or inflated salaries. Choose people who have a passion for what they’re doing, love to be part of a team where there is “floating management,” and make up their titles for fun. “Wizard of the Realm” has a nice ring to it.

In my company, and others I’ve run, the person with the most experience on the issue we’re facing is the boss, even over me. This makes sense. If an admin has more experience than me on something, she or he is the boss. The sooner we get rid of false hierarchies and run companies sensibly, the better off America will be.

9). Let employees be themselves…and find their own solutions. Rather than making employees do things the “company way,” let people do things their way. I will lay you dollars to donuts that they’ll do it cheaper, better and quicker than “your way.” Give people a chance and they’ll run with it. Now this means that your enormous ego has to take a vacation. Why should you have thought of it. None of us is as smart as all of us.

10). Have fun. Companies of the future will be companies where people love to come to work. Starkist Tuna — not a company where you’d think it would be fun to work — rather than buying into “do more with less” B.S., hired more people, slowed down the assembly line, and got rid of managers, organizing people into self-managing work teams. What happened? Absenteeism dropped to almost nothing. Ditto Worker’s Comp claims. Productivity went way up. Rather than stripping one half of a fish, the whole fish got stripped. People took responsibility for one another, covered for one another, and got rid of the deadwood themselves. Good for you, Starkist!

This stuff is not just good morality, or pie-in-the-sky, it is good business. Frankly, some of this stuff is about to be mandated by the government. CEO and executive pay has gotten out of hand, and there are increasing calls for regulation on this. “Perks” have also gotten out of hand, and are also being scrutinized heavily. The companies who will be celebrated are those who go beyond the new laws we’re about to see reining in executive abuses and greed. I hope that you and your company will be among those who take this to heart and transform your company culture. If this is already your company culture — good for you! Please let me know about you and I’ll mention you in this blog and tell your story!

If I or my colleagues can be of any assistance in transforming company culture to fit the new, post-crash realities, please call us.

To a prosperous 2000!

J.

Executive Think is Deadly

“Well, then, let them eat cake.” (Reply of Marie Antoinette who asked why the people were rioting upon being told that they had no bread. This reply was widely circulated, and was one of the things that resulted in Marie losing her head. “A tisket a tasket, a head in a basket. It cannot reply to the questions you ask it.” Queen Marie wasn't being callous. She didn't understand that there was no flour to make bread or cake. She simply thought they were unhappy because they'd run out of bread and the bakers weren't making enough. From her very isolated point of view, this was a perfectly logical and proper solut9ion. )

Ford’s CEO didn’t lose his head. But Alan Mulally certainly deserved to lose his job, and why his board didn’t immediately fire this fool after his remarks is beyond me. After going by private corporate jet to Washington D.C. to ask the representatives of the taxpayers (few of whom have the luxury of brand new cars, much less corporate jets) for a bailout for their stupidity, Mulally, when asked if he would take a salary cut from $21M total compensation to $1.00, said “I think I’m OK where I am.” Again, this congenital idiot should have been fired by the board on the spot.

The problem, however, is that the board of Ford is composed of Mulally’s golfing buddies who think in the same way.

I’m reminded of the story my friend Alva told me about the local GM of Avaya a few years back. When he was meeting with employees to explain why Avaya had to cut their jobs, he was asked why he didn’t get rid of a corporate jet. Rather than responding he proceeded to correct the questioner (who was being RIFed) that it wasn’t A corporate jet, but three corporate jets and a couple of corporate helicopters. Then, this dumbass went on to detail the millions of dollars that these luxuries cost to maintain and fly each month. Again, in a sane world, this individual would have immediately lost his job if not his head.

I must say, however, that I see such idiocy frequently at the top levels. Last December I did one of our Executive Round Tables on ways to thrive in the “coming recession” (which, according to most sources, has long since arrived). I predicted the current credit crisis, and that we were going to see housing in free-fall. I was accused by one of the more conservative CEO attendees at this Round Table of being a “Liberal” (which, for this group, is the harshest condemnation possible) and of being one of the “Liberal naysayers” who just couldn’t admit that George W. Bush was the country’s greatest president and had brought us a booming economy.

To their credit, several of the other CEOs there looked aghast at this fool, and questioned what planet he was living on. But these things point up a very real problem in the ranks of upper-level executives. It is called “Executive Think.”

It is important to understand that these people aren’t necessarily evil. They just live in a world different from the remainder of the human race. When Bush 41 (George H.W.) guessed wildly wrong on the price of a half gallon of milk, he was not alone. Many of the top level executives I have known over the years really, truly don’t “get it.” They live in an insulated world where the economy is booming, housing is stable and the stock market is great. If I weren’t so happy (for their sakes) that they’re getting a wake-up call from reality, I’d feel sorry for them. In the recent crises, executives are now having their noses rubbed in realities that most of us must deal with every day. That they still don’t get it, however, is evident by the fact that, after receiving taxpayer money the congenital idiots who run AIG went away to a plush spa for a four day corporate retreat.

It is this lack of understanding that leads me to say that these people need to be fired by their boards and replaced with “C” level executives who have an understanding of the real world. And this, by the way, is 70% of “C” level executives. The vast majority of the CEOs I’ve met are very realistic and great people. But the 30% who are clueless are going to cause some very harsh regulations to come forth on all of us. This is why we, as their peers, must pull them down before they pull all of us down into the morass of stifling government regulation and interference. And, frankly, if we can’t police our own ranks, we deserve every bit of government interference we get. So we must police our own ranks.

Fortunately, these clueless “C” Level executives are dinosaurs who are well on their way to being extinct. Most executives understand that there are executive behaviors which incite rage and those which engender approval from others. And many executives understand that “the masses” are their customers. Don’t be surprised to see organized boycotts of Ford (I wouldn’t buy a lousy Ford product anyway…but still….). While elections have consequences, so do stupid remarks from top executives. Here are the things that executives in virtually all companies must do now to change public perception of top business leaders.

1). Reduce the obscene gap between the average employee and the executive suite. If we do not immediately reduce the ever-rising income gap between the average employee and the executive suite, both in actual paychecks and in total comp, we are gong to see the government limiting it for us. And you can bet your bootie that, if the government does it, it will be harsher than anything we’d impose on ourselves. In 1996 the average top executive earned $41 for every $1 earned by the average wage-earner. However, in 2006 the average top executive earned $410 for every $1 that was earned by the average wage earner. This ten-fold jump is very unhealthy for society and, if history is any indication, will eventually be very literally unhealthy for executives themselves. No less of a luminary than Warren Buffet has predicted food bank riots in New York City by 2010, as the city’s food banks are dry. Hello, people! Hungry people have always been known to drag the wealthy who are perceived to be corrupt out of their carriages, off their horses, and, in modern times, out of their limousines and beat them and/or kill them.

This earnings gap must end immediately A difference of 400% for average executives (the gap for the “C” Level executives of Fortune 100 firms can be thousands of times) is beyond absurd. It is, arguably, immoral. For the good of society and for the protection of capitalism and the free market, we must police ourselves to change this.

2). Excessive “perks.” But salaries are only the beginning. The enormous difference in “perks” is even more scandalous. When luxury perks, special loans, corporate jets or helicopters, etc. are added in, the gap becomes even wider.

The problem is that executives often think that they deserve these things. If the company is privately held, well, realistically the owners can take as much as they want out of it and explain or not explain to their workers. If their workers don’t like it, they can leave. But this isn’t true of a publicly traded company. Share-holders often complain about executive pay, but most companies are set up so the share-holders, who are the true owners of the company, have little or no say in what executives are paid. This is because the board is composed, again, of the executive suite’s golfing buddies, thus assuring no independent oversight of public corporations. This, also, will lead to government regulation, especially in a Democratically controlled Washington, if we don’t police ourselves.

3). Effective immunity from prosecution. Because of the corporate shield, many executives who cheat or steal from others are effectively shielded from prosecution or any other legal consequences. If prosecuted or sued, corporations often pay for the best attorneys possible to get these folks a slap on the wrist. Again, this is likely to change.

The last 8 years of the Bush Administration Justice Department which was owned and operated by large corporations is winding down. The Obama Administration Justice Department is going to be more aggressive. And they have learned since Janet Reno went after Microsoft. They learned a great deal from that case.

Corporate executives are going to be increasingly held personally responsible for dangerous or faulty products, manipulation of the markets, and many other things. Remember, the immunity of individuals in corporations is not a universal value. In fact, it is a value that very few countries hold. In China a CEO who makes a product that kills people, as well as his or her team, can be held for murder and executed. While that is unlikely to happen in America, the corporate shield is going to be dramatically weakened. That shield is a tradition, not an absolute. It can be changed with the stroke of a pen. Once again, we must police ourselves before the government does.

Executives who are going to be successful must stop acting in “executive think,” and begin to see the values of those who have recently turned around companies. The next post will deal with what is effective thinking for executives, rather than “executive-think.” As a preview, here are a few things that newly successful executives must begin to practice. We’ll elaborate next time.

1). Team spirit. Currently, successful executives are those who see themselves as a part of a team, every individual of which is valuable and necessary.

2). A flat organization. Successful organizations are increasingly “flatter.” My company is very successful — and very flat. We are certainly very small by choice. But the same principles are being applied at many successful companies world-wide.

3). Get out of the Executive Suite frequently! As a result of the above two points, successful CEOs are getting out of the executive suites and down on the shop floor, assembly line, out in the field, and so on. Employees who see the CEO eating lunch in the company cafeteria from a brown bag, where they can go and talk with him or her, are incredibly loyal.

4). Equality of perks. My colleagues who work with me have similar needs to mine so far as health insurance, dental insurance, days off, and so on. So WHY, just because my wife and I started the company, should we have tons more perks than they do? Successful organizations give everyone pretty much the same perks. Now, if we could just get the U.S. Congress and U.S. Government to follow the laws they pass, we’d be in good shape.

5). Flatness of pay. This one is sure to raise ire among businesspeople. And it is pretty radical. But, mark my words, just as surely as I predicted the credit crunch and housing crisis in 2003 in a restaurant in South Denver, this prediction of mine will come true, as well. Differences in pay between executives and workers will and must be reduced. Everyone must win, not just the people in the executive offices. And, about those executive offices, anyway….a true executive doesn’t need acreage in his or her office. I’m still a competent executive in a modest office similar to everyone else’s.

And so on. The key word here is “flat.” Companies that want to survive this economic crisis, and, at the same time, survive the sea changes that, as a result of the taxpayers owning some of America’s largest companies now, will be very flat organizations. I’ve said before that humility is the most important virtue for an executive. This has never been more true than now.

Unfortunately, I am skeptical that many of the insulated, arrogant and greedy executives in the executive suites of many of America’s companies will get their heads out of the butts and make the changes they need to make. They are stubbornly convinced of their own rightness. Instead of doing what is intelligent, they are standing on their perceived “rights” to be considered special and above the opinions and reach of society. As so many people through history have realized just before they were executed, these people are not invulnerable. Their money and influence will not protect them forever.

I actually think this is a good thing for American business. Getting rid of arrogant, posturing, narcissists in America’s companies, whether by the perp walk or being voted out by furious stockholders will improve American business immensely. It will be a difficult and challenging time for America until these fools are gone. But, in the long run, it will produce an economy that benefits a great many more people than our current, highly stratified, and corrupt system.

Be prosperous!

J.

Retaining Great Employees

I get fairly disgusted when a CEO says “Our people are our most important resource” and then commences with laying people off. I’ll bet that the CEO who says this doesn’t go to the IT department and throw computers out the window! The reality is that people, for many companies, are to be used to obtain what they want. And this attitude is a large part of the reason these companies are losing money and prestige.

If you want to thrive during recessionary times and kick butt during boom cycles, start with your people. The time and aggravation that goes into replacing one loyal and competent employee that company policies have torqued off one too many times is enormous, not to mention the financial cost of Churn. So start with some basic principles in your business and you will find that you will be a sought-after company to work with.

1). Understand that if your employees ar unhappy, nobody is happy. This includes your customers. Employees who are treated well and are happy help you keep customers. I know this is new and interesting information to some employers out there.

2). Kill bureaucracy. The piling of rules upon rules is unnecessary. The reaction of many companies to something going wrong with ONE employee is to write a rule about it. Kick out he rules-based people at once. Handle the problem with the one employee rather than making it global.

3). Make things easy and employee oriented. There is no real reason why an employee should have to fill out 5,942,853 forms in triplicate to go to the bathroom. It is some idiot on a power trip that puts these things in place. Make it simple as possible to access benefits, take care of family emergencies, and so on. If you have a desire to control other people, you don’t belong in management at all. Go be a prison guard or something where being a control freak might actually be O.K…though I doubt it, even in that situation.

4). Pay your employees as well as you can afford to. I am absolutely disgusted by companies where the difference between the lowest paid employee and the highest paid employee is 9000%. Let that CEO make less, and the people in the trenches make more.

5). Let everyone have the same benefits. Our employees get exactly the same benefits as my wife and I, the principals, do. Exactly.

6). Put management in the trenches. Grease Monkey is a great company. Executives at Grease Monkey have to lube cars, and every other job that everyone does before they can make even one executive decision. Imagine what it would do for morale if the CEO of GM worked on an assembly line a few times a year.

7). Share the pain. If things have to be cut or reduced, make sure that management has AT least as much pain as the lowest paid worker.

8). Share the success. Companies where the employees get a slice of company profits or bonuses based on what the whole company does have employees who really understand the concept of “teamwork.” Many companies talk about “everyone is part of the team,” but what they really mean is “you’re my slaves, now go make me money.” DOGBERT’S MANAGEMENT SECRETS is the most honest management manual on the market. Buy it and do everything the opposite of what Dogbert recommends. Make your employees truly a part of the team. Share the winnings with them.

9). Don’t treat them like children. Most people are honest and want to do a great job. They just discouraged by the office politics, the power-hungry managers, low pay, and gross inequities. Companies that have remedied these things have loyal employees who will do anything for the company. Treat employees like responsible adults and they’ll usually behave that way.

10). Involve them in decision making. Companies who involve their employees in decision making have much happier, and much more reasonable, employees. No one likes to be ordered around or have something forced on them from the top. I’ve found that employees will do things to their own detriment if they’re involved in the process and see it is for the company good.

11). Give them detailed information. In the companies I’ve run, the books are completely open to every employee. When I make a job offer, I run a spreadsheet showing the prospective employee exactly what I’ll make or lose on them, and how much he or she has as total cost to the company. Companies are generally too paranoid and security conscious. While trade secrets should be kept quiet, finances should be generally available to all employees. This will eliminate lots of arguments, unless, of course, employees are getting shafted so management can enjoy undeserved benefits. The more information you give employees, the more involved they feel in decisions that effect them. Be open and above board in every piece of information possible, including what everyone is making in the company. If you’re ashamed to do this, maybe you should evaluate what you’re making a bit.

12). Be generous. Do things for employees that are generous acts of kindness. Google and other companies that do this have very productive employees who never leave.

13). Throw “do more with less” out the window. It is insanity to have employees working 80 hour weeks, or all weekend long. It is also very bad business. Well-rested employees with balanced lives are more competent and more productive than exhausted and burned out employees. Whatever idiot keeps telling companies to make their employees do more with less should be knee-capped.

14). Pay employees for giving back. Hourly employees should be paid their hourly rate for giving back to the community. Companies that have programs like this have very high employee retention, and excellent PR. Pay employees for 25 – 40 a year working for charity, their religious institution, or community service work. This doesn’t cost, it pays. And give them time during the business day to do this community work.

The above are some of the “best practices” that proactive and successful companies are taking. Companies following these best practices have great employee morale, unbelievably low Churn, and higher productivity per employee. If you are still operating in the 19th Century and treating employees like recalcitrant children, get over yourself. Time to come up to the 21st Century and succeed!

J.